Failure is something that anyone who wants to do anything interesting in life must be willing to deal with. In my 14 years doing independent animation this is a lesson that continues to repeat itself. I have encountered it in my education, in teaching, in my art, and in my life many times. This is not unique to me or any of us. Failure should not be an inhibiting factor in doing the things you want to do. In 2007 I entered my first official film festival, the then West Virginia Filmmaker Film Festival (Now the West Virginia Filmmakers Festival). I entered a cartoon titled "The Circus" into their short animation category. Having never entered a film festival I had no idea what the expectations were. I envisioned a sort of bohemian crowed of ascot adorned individuals who would swoon at the very sight of the war commentary I had created. It was, as much of my work is, hand drawn. My dad and a good friend came with me to the film festival. It was in Sutton, West Virginia. As we arrived the venue was an abandoned church. They had taped trash bags over the windows to stop light from getting in, and had a little screen set up in the front of the room. It was not what I expected. We went in an were seated and my dad leaned over to me and said "This place wreaks of liberal arts." As the films started only a handful of people were in attendance, and the only people who had actually come to see my film were myself, my dad, and my friend. Failure. I was given the award for Best Animation at that festival for the cartoon I had made. It was the only animation in the festival. Failure, that is what that was. Failure. I learned alot from that wonderful little film festival. I learned alot about marketing my films, and about the realistic expectations that must come with making art in rural Appalachia. How arrogant and naive of me to imagine it would be otherwise. I learned that too. As a result that film festival, now in a new incarnation, under new management, and being widely promoted, is a kind of cornerstone for my animated work. When I make cartoons now I try to set my deadlines based on that festival. When deadline time comes around, I feel compelled to enter something. It was an important part of my education, and the people involved were, in a weird way, sort of teachers. I have been working on the same film for nearly 4 years now, a record for me, and I find myself trying to get it completed before the festival this year. If I don't there is no real pressure, as the film is totally funded by me. But, part of me feels deeply compelled to premier the film at the West Virginia Filmmakers Festival. Why? I guess there could be alot of reasons. I try not to overthink my weird anxieties when it comes to sharing my work. I try to focus on the work. All I know is that failure had such a profound effect that it whispers to me frequently to bat again and try harder. I think that is what failure is suppose to do. Not to deter, but to remind us that we are mortal and that we can either quit or do better. Then again, I could be over thinking that too.
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Jacob FertigArtist, Educator, Activist, Micronationalist, et al. Archives
November 2019
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